The Newest Fad
by Famine
Summary: Everything's a disaster when Garnet sleeps with Zidane and causes a chain of events that leads to the demise of everyone's favorite characters. Guest stars the Weiß Kreuz Boys.


"Aww, come on Garny. I know you really want this." Zidane said, thrusting his hips. Garnet looked disgusted. "I told you fifty times. I'm saving myself for marriage." "Aww, you're no fun. What's the point in waiting 'til you're all old and wrinkled? Nobody's gonna wanna do you then." "I don't care. Sex isn't everything." "Yes it is." Zidane smiled. He brushed her leg. "Please, Garny?" He gave the puppy-dog eyes. "FINE! If you want it that bad then I guess I have to." Zidane smiled, pleased. "Don't worry, I know what to do!" He leaned over her.  
"Did you hear about the new group of hotties comming to town?" Hippaul shouted, telling everyone. "New hotties? Don't we have Tantalus?" A woman shouted out. "I'm talking about NEW ones!" Hippaul giggled. "New Hotties?" Part-Time Worker Mary said, peeking from behind a wall. "Hotter than Blankie?" She was curious. The gates opened with alarms around everywhere. "There they are!" A woman screamed, fainting. "WHAT A BUNCH OF HUNKALICIOUS MAN DISHES OF MEAT!" Another woman screamed, falling off her roof. Four men walked in. "We're Weiß." The redhead winked to all the women. They all fainted. Part-Time Worker Mary caught a glimpse. "HOLY MOTHER OF MOG! THAT MAN IS HOOOOOOT. FORGET YOU, BLANK!" She ran away. "I'm Ken!" The brunette said. "Hello, ladies! I'm Yohji!" "My name's Omi!" "Aya." The redhead, seemingly the leader, said. "Can anyone point us to the Queen of Alexandria?" "I CAAAAN!" Beatrix screamed, jumping off the ledge of the castle. Yohji caught her. She looked in his eyes. "Oh my...." She fainted.  
"I can't believe I missed my chance to take over Alexandria! I'm so pathetic!" Kuja said to himself, leaning on his throne. "Kuja! You'll never guess what happened...." A rather large girl dressed in blue said, appearing out of no where. "What is it, Mag?" "I come bearing gifts. Well...the talkative kind, anyway." "Garnet lost her purity!" A voice said. Giggles were heard. Two more girls, one wearing pink and the other purple, appeared. "And you know what that means!" Mag said. "Yes...Alexandria....is mine." Kuja laughed evily, followed by the echoing of the girls' laughter.  
"What does she see in him, anyway?" Steiner grumbled. "He looks like a freakin girl. When did we start inviting shemales to our castle?" He asked Garnet. "I don't know, but they seem to be way more popular than Tantalus." She replied. At Ruby's Bar, Tantalus chatted about the new boys in town. "There's no way they can match my sexiness and charm!" Blank giggled. Marcus elbowed him in the stomach. "It's no use. The women of Alexandria already picked them over us." Cinna frowned. "Hey ya'll. Don't look so glum. They're not stayin' here forever, ya know?" Ruby said, walking over from a customer. "That's RIGHT! As soon as they're gone, we'll have the chicks to ourselves again!" Cinna laughed. "Dude...you don't have any chicks." Zidane replied.  
"This place sucks." Omi said, walking in with the other Weiß boys. "I heard it's the most popular place in town." Aya said. "Hey washouts." Yohji said, waving to Tantalus. "I'll KILL HIM!" Blank shouted, charging at him only to be stopped by Marcus. "Dude, if you start a brawl, Ruby will ban you forever." "You know, this town really could use some Popular faces. I guess we'll stay in this town...until we die!" Aya and the Boys chuckled. "AHHHHH!" Zidane screamed, knowing where that is going. "Excuse me...can I have your autograph?" Eiko asked Omi. "Sure!" Omi smiled at Eiko. She looked over at Zidane and wondered why she ever liked him. "Thank you! I love you!" Eiko quickly kissed Omi on the cheek and ran out the door. "Looks like you have a crush...you know what to do with crushes, don't you, Omi?" Aya asked. Omi nodded.  
"I'm not feeling too good, Beatrix." Garnet said, clutching her stomach. "What's wrong? Are you in pain?" Beatrix asked. She threw up. "We better get you to Alexandria General Hospital." Beatrix hurried to pick her up. "I don't think I'm sick...Beatrix...I think I'm pregnant." She looked at her. "You need to take a test...lets go to the drug store down town." Zidane saw what was going on, but couldn't hear them. "Zidane....Garnet's just cramping your style. You should be top-kid in Town." Mag and the Magus Sisters appeared around him. "Don't you want to be the best?" Rag asked. "Well...yeah..." "Garnet's only holding you back." Dog commented. "Drop her like a fly!" "I can't...we've been through so much." "Well...just see what you can do...." The Sisters flew around, going in Zidane's head.  
"Here. Tell me what it tells you when you're done." Beatrix said. She waited outside. Garnet swallowed. "What if I'm pregnant? I thought you can't get pregnant the first time..." She sighed and took the test. Beatrix walked off, meeting Yohji by the hallway. They kissed. "Let's go to your room." Yohji smiled. Beatrix nodded and walked with him. "Oh no..." Garnet said, staring at shock at the tester. "It...can't...be..." She sweated. Beatrix and Yohji lied under the covers. "I love you, Beatrix." Yohji smiled. "Beatrix? Are you in here?" Steiner asked. "Beatrix?" He looked under the blankets. Beatrix was smiling, but changed to a shocked look. "Steiner...I..." Tears rose from Steiner as he ran out of the room. He found Ken standing right outside. "You weren't suppose to meddle, little man." He said, grabbing Steiner's sword. "What are you do--AGH!" He felt his own sword in his gut. "Be---Beatrix---"  
In Beatrix's room, Yohji put his clothes back on. "It was fun, Bee." He smiled at the dead corpse. He tied his shoes and walked out of the room. "Garnet! There you are!" Zidane ran up to her. He saw she was crying. "What's wrong?" "N-Nothing....I just...have to go..." She ran away. The Magus Sisters appeared. "She's pregnant, you know?" Dog said. "With your baby." Rag said, Dog echoing her. "Do you want a baby that will take you down? It's a death wish for your popularity." Mag giggled. "If she's pregnant...I'll have to kill her...and the baby...."  
"Do you love me, Omi?" Eiko asked him, sitting on the bench in the park. "Yes." Omi looked at her. He was too shy to look at her straight in the eyes. "Omi...Kiss me..." Eiko moved towards Omi. "Eiko, I didn't mean I love you like that. I'm 17...you're 9." Eiko began to cry. Omi moved in to kiss her on the cheek, but brought out a dagger. He stabbed her in the back without her knowing, and she died silent. "Oh there you are!" Vivi said, finding Omi and Eiko on the bench. "I was looking everywhere for you." "Just go home little brat. Me and her want to be alone." Omi sneered. Vivi looked at him wonderously, and began to walk away. Omi took out a silent gun from his shoe and shot Vivi in the back. "Heh. I love killing people in the back." He smiled.  
"You can't beat me!" Freya said to Ken. "Of course I can. I'm a pro at Arm Wrestling." Ken laughed. "He beat me, I'm sure he can with your chicken arms." Amarant remarked. Freya shrugged and began to start. "Gotcha." Ken said, pinning her arm down. "Gosh, you're GOOD!" Freya grasped her arm. Ken reached down in his boots. His arm rose up and a bullet struck Freya's head, followed to Amarant's chest. They died instantly. "Almost there..." Ken smiled. In the bushes, Part-Time Worker Mary saw the deaths of the two warriors. She almost screamed out, but decided to go get help.  
"Zidane, you gotta believe me!" Mary screamed at him. "You don't have to believe her, Zidane. Garnet's all that stands in your way, kill her! If Mary tries to stop you, kill her too!" Mag said in his head. Zidane nodded. "Are you trying to stop me?" Zidane twitched. "What's wrong with you?" Part-Time Worker Mary responded. "Anyone who tries to stop me from being the best in the town must die! Are you trying to stop me?" He twitched again. "N-N-No...I just thought you could help me--" "--Helping is for wimps. Conquering is more of my thing." He twitched two more times. "Kill her, Zidane. She's stopping you!" Mag screamed. "I'm sorry Part-Time Worker Mary, but I have to kill you now..." He took out his dagger. She screamed and ran to the window. Below her was the ocean and a bunch of rocks. "Oh gosh, Zidane I didn't mean to do anything." Mary begged. Zidane slashed at her. She fell back out of the window, falling to her rocky death. "Kill Garnet! Kill her for Popularity!" Mag laughed.  
Garnet walked into Ruby's bar. It's deserted. "Where is everyone?" She asked, and noticed Omi stashing something in the back room. She walked back there. "Omi, what are you doing?" He immediatly looked back. She noticed Cinna, Marcus, Blank, and Ruby were lieing on the floor, dead. "Well, Princess Garnet. You're next!" Omi shouted, chargin at her. She kicked him in the face, grabbing her mace and pounding on his head. She grabbed the gun that fell out of his hand and shot him in the forehead. He fell to the ground, motionless. "What's going on here?!" Garnet screamed. "I'd like to know, too." Zidane said from behind. "Zidane! I'm so happy to see you!" "You're pregnant...why didn't you tell me?" "How...How did you know?" She asked. He pulled out a dagger and stabbed it in her stomach. "HAHAHA!" Mag laughed, followed by the other Magus Sisters' harpings "Finish her off!" Zidane kicked her in her face. She flew back. Crawling on her knees, she headed for the door. "Somebody help meeee!" She screamed, and fell to the ground. Zidane walked outside. "There you are..." Zidane through the dagger down onto Garnet, killing her. The Magus Sisters laughed, comming out of his head. "Our job is finished! The cowardly theif killed the princess he loves." Mag screetched. Zidane looked down at Garnet's dead body and a tear flew down. "Screw Kuja! We're going to take over Alexandria ourselves!" Rag giggled. "We won't stop there. Before you know it, we'll be in control of the world!" Dog screetched. "Yes. We will become the Goddesses of the World! No! The Universe!" Mag harped. They heard a noise. Looking around, they saw an arrow flying towards them. It stabbed into all three, and they vanished to their deaths. "Heh heh." Kuja said, taking out another arrow. "I'm supreme ruler now, ya know?" He laughed. Ken, Yohji, and Aya ran out. They took their weapons out, but got struck by an arrow of Kuja and died. Zidane looked down at Garnet. A tear flew down.  
Zidane vanished. "W-W-Where am I?" He asked, looking around in a dim room. "I am Garland." A shadowy figure said. "Why am I here?" "It's your fault everyone's dead. If you didn't sleep with Garnet, then the events wouldn't have triggered. Kuja, the Magus Sisters, Weiß, they all tortured you because they found out. I'm giving you one chance, to go back in time." A beam flashed and Zidane was gone. "I told you fifty times. I'm saving myself for marriage." Garnet told Zidane. "Oh...that's cool! I totally respect that!" Zidane smiled. Everything was happy in the world of Gaia. 


End file.
